New Year’s Resolution

3 Jan

I don’t usually make resolutions for the new year. I need too much instant gratification to try to plan something that will take a year to accomplish. But here I am, three days after the new year, making a resolution.

So, I know this blog is new, and we don’t know each other very well yet, but I am going to make a confession. For the past eight months or so I have been in a funk. Not the “eating massive quantities of Taco Bell and not exercising” kind of funk. (Those tend to come and go pretty regularly for me.) I’ve just been unhappy. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why — I have some ideas, but can’t give you a clear answer. Basically I’ve just been feeling insecure, needy, and despondent.

I’ve been feeling I would be happy “if only . . . .” If only I had a great guy in my life. If only I lived somewhere else. If only this or that were different. But, like I can’t explain what got me into that funk, I also can’t explain how exactly I got out of it. I can tell you that I did. As of last night. I just sort of snapped out of it. I feel like this big fog has been lifted and I am ready to start living my life, exactly the way it is, as my best self.

So 2012 was my year for growing up. For realizing (finally) that my life is pretty darn great. And that I can and should be happy about that. That I need to give love without demanding anything in return and that I need to love myself.

So for 2013, my resolution is to be happy with who I am, what I am, and where I am.

Happy new year!


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